Newsflash: Orthodox people are orthodox

Borduria, Dec 14: The President of the country’s major political party, the Bordurian People’s Party, today announced that they will vehemently oppose the right of two consenting adults to do anything in private.

“We hereby announce that doing *anything* in private is opposed to Bordurian culture,” the Party’s president, Robertus Stickelbacker, proclaimed. “From now on, people will have to surf the internet in public, while 80 stick-wielding ZEP inspectors stand behind him peering at the screen. Also, Bordurian women will be married off at 14. The ones who are over 14 and unmarried will be sent to work in Jadugoda to dig uranium with their bare hands.”

Several liberal Bordurian citizens expressed their deep discomfort that the party,which they had been supporting for its liberal economic views, has put them into a bind.

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